The Ranch for Kids was recently featured in a well-rounded Yahoo News article detailing the difficult choices struggling families have helping their adoptive child affected with FASD and RAD.
Giving Away “Anatoly Z.”
December 10, 2014
By Lisa Belkin, Yahoo News
The phone rings at the ranch house in the Horse Prairie valley of Montana, and Cyndi Peck puts on her headset and settles in for what is always a long conversation. Sitting in her tiny home office, surrounded by milk crates full of files on the floor and a map of U.S. time zones on the wall, she folds her hands as if in prayer and listens as yet another adoptive mother explains why she wants to return another adopted child.
Over the next hour, Peck asks the usual questions. Today the caller is a Tennessee kindergarten teacher who adopted a former student out of foster care about a year ago only to realize she cannot handle the girl’s emotional and psychological wounds. But the conversation was much the same on other days with other callers: the mother in the Midwest who brought four boys from Poland who she thought were biological brothers and came to realize that one was not related to the other three at all and that he needed a home where he could get individual attention; or the mother of a 5-year-old in Virginia, born in the Congo, who killed the family pet and threatened to stab his adoptive siblings; or the mother in Ohio whose 7-year-old would not stop masturbating in public and was acting sexually aggressive toward her older brother.
Does she hurt animals? Peck asks the Tennessee mother, as she asks every caller. Have extremely different behavior inside and outside the home? Treat you worse than she treats your husband? Have eating or food issues? Bodily function issues? Irregular sleep patterns? Does she lie? Make false accusations? Hurt herself? Hurt other children? Do you hide the kitchen knives from her at night? Worry that she will turn everyday things into weapons?
Even as she asks all this, Peck is pretty sure that most, perhaps all, of the answers will be yes. Peck knows this world intimately — she is the mother of nine, and of the four who were adopted, three have tortured psychological histories. She also knows this world professionally. She is one of a tiny handful of adoption professionals in the U.S. who specialize in finding new homes for children whose original adoptive parents give them up, and she’s arranged about 80 of these since she began five years ago.
Technically this is called “disruption” (if the interruption comes before the adoption is finalized) and “dissolution” (if it comes after). Those who are appalled by the very thought often call it “rehoming,” as if with a pet. Those like Peck, who believe it has been the dirty little secret of the adoption world for far too long, prefer “second chance adoption,” which is what Peck calls her agency.
It’s her mission, she says, to make the process open, nonjudgmental and safe, rather than confused, shameful and marginally regulated, as it has been for decades.
“To shame the parents and push it underground when it happens is no help to these families, or these children,” she says.
Read the rest of the article here: http://news.yahoo.com/giving-away–anatoly-a—200851799.html?ct=t(Ranch_For_Kids12_16_2014)